Thursday, January 17, 2008

    Anyone got a light?

    (From the Lighter Side of Theology)
    CHANGING A LIGHT BULB THE CHRISTIAN WAY

    How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

    Charismatic: Only 1
    Hands are already in the air.

    Pentecostal: 10
    One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

    Presbyterians: None
    Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

    Roman Catholic: None
    Candles only.

    Baptists: At least 15.
    One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.

    Episcopalians: 3
    One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

    Mormons: 5
    One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

    Unitarians:
    We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

    Methodists: Undetermined
    Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.

    Nazarene: 6
    One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

    Lutherans: None
    Lutherans don't believe in change.

    Amish:
    What's a light bulb

    Labels: , ,

    Would you like me to read this to you? Listen

    3 Comments:

    Blogger Anastasia said...

    as an episcopalian, I have to say that is so right on it kinda hurts.

    and i'm off to mix a drink.

    Thursday, January 17, 2008  
    Blogger Coffee-Drinking Woman said...

    That was smile-inducing. Thanks.

    Saturday, January 19, 2008  
    Blogger Julep said...

    Hysterical--as a Unitarian, that is spot on!

    Saturday, March 01, 2008  

    Post a Comment

    Links to this post:

    Create a Link

    << Home